I don't want to die
by Merucha
Summary: WARNING: heaps of angst, songfic using Hollywood Undead's I don't wanna die. Made me think of Reno.


**Errr…ANGSTY FIC! Hollywood Undead will always be one of my favorite bands, despite their emo-ness. Don't blame me, blame my brother! He made me listen to them when I was like 11...**

**So this one is based on their song "I don't wanna die". I'm sure you could've figured that out by yourself…**

Normal dialogue and text

_Over-phone conversations & thoughts_

_**Lyrics**_

* * *

><p>All his life, it's been death. Death, death, death, wherever he looks, wherever he goes. Of course, he handles ShinRa's dirty work, which means he's often the cause of the death. But it started way before that, back when he lived in the slums. If you wanted to live, especially if you were a kid, you'd have to be ready to do whatever it took. Steal? Every day. Fight? Of course. Kill? It was inevitable.<p>

_**I don't wanna die**_

_**I don't wanna die**_

_**No, I don't wanna die**_

_**So you're gonna have to.**_

The first time he killed someone, it was self defense. He was a kid, with long, red hair, a feminine face and a lithe body. Someone had to notice him sometime, and when someone did, all Reno could think was _'I don't want to die!'_

_**Blood is getting hotter**_

_**Body's getting colder**_

_**I told you once, **_

_**I'm the only one who holds her**_

When the Turks spotted his talent and took him in for training, was the best moment of Reno's life. He would get money, an apartment, clean clothes, and most of all; respect.

So what if he had to kill to get all that?

_**I don't wanna die, **_

_**I don't wanna die**_

_**I don't wanna die**_

_**So you're gonna have to.**_

But the first time he killed an innocent person…

"Boss, I got some spectators. What do I do with 'em?"

"_Do they know who sent you?"_

"Nah, they totally missed my Turk uniform and the MagRod."

"_Reno."_

"Yes, they know who sent me, Boss. What do I do?"

"_Eliminate them."_

"….What?"

_**Now that I see, I see you buried**_

_**Six feet below.**_

_**Another life goes into the night**_

_**I couldn't let him breathe, because I didn't want to die**_

They hadn't done anything. He had no reason to kill them. But he did.

Why? Because if a Turk deliberately failed orders, he would be discharged. And Turks didn't simply get discharged, they disappeared. In other words 'were eliminated'.

And once again, the only though his mind registered as he pulled the trigger into the head of three bystanders was _'I don't want to die…'_

_**Now that I see, I see you buried**_

_**Six feet below.**_

_**It's not allright…**_

_**Can you hear me as I cry?**_

_**I couldn't let you live, because I didn't want to die.**_

In time, the deaths meant less and less to him. And in the end, he just stopped caring. Blam. Another life gone. Blam. Another heart stopped. Blam. Another cry for mercy silenced. And so what? Every day, people were dying. He just didn't want to be one of them yet, so others took his place.

_**I don't wanna die**_

_**I don't wanna die**_

_**No - I don't wanna die.**_

_**So you're gonna have to.**_

More than once, his life was in danger. And he always managed to twist himself out of it, one way or another, alone or with the help of his coworkers, whom he deluded himself with by thinking they were his friends. On a mission and staring into the barrel of a gun, for the first time in his life, Reno didn't think 'I don't want to die!' In fact, he didn't even mind the thought of dying.

Just another life gone…what's the difference?

_**I don't wanna die!**_

_**I don't wanna die!**_

_**So you're gonna have to.**_

_**I don't wanna die!**_

_**I don't wanna die!**_

None the less, a twist of the arm and a shot to the face later, Reno was standing over the corpse of the man who had Reno's life in his hands not a minute earlier, face littered with the splatter of the his blood.

And Reno's face is blank.

_**You didn't have to die.**_

* * *

><p><strong>I haven't exactly played the game, so I have no idea what exactly ShinRa does. Sorry, I'm not an experienced fan, I only watched the movie for the Reno. ^^; <strong>


End file.
